Coachella Valley Street Racing

Racer:

You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.
You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth (wear bars showing).
When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
When you hear 'overcooked it', instead of food you think 'off the track'.
You change engine oil every other week.
You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.
You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
Your racing budget is one of the big two -- mortgage, car payments.
Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
You've been known to yell "It means 'check your mirrors' damn it!" at your television.
You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.
You bought a race car before buying a house.
You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars a motor home, a crew cab dualie, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6) Deaf neighbors.
7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
8) Some sort of house with a working toilet andshower on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motor home.

YOU ARE A RICER, IF....

you find yourself using the excuse "yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude" after EVERY race
you drive a 4 door 'type R'
you have stickers that even most asians dont get
you have stickers for parts you dont have
you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'
your car has so much camber it can drive on its side
when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter
your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter
you have 'power by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine manufacturer
birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees
you sell crack for the image...not the money
you have 'N/T' polished on the side of car and you don’t know what bracket racing is
you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs
you can't race up hills
you have "All Motor" emblazoned on your rear hatch right next to your 14.50 dial in
you brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in
your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars
you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car
you go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin
your tach is bigger than your head
you have a shift light and your car is an automatic
you refuse to race because it's a "show car" (or truck stryker)
your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip
at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking butt on the autocross.
your exhaust sounds like a dying dying Moose
you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager
you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.
your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine