A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''

The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.''
Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women
sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of
the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and
sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one
is married?''

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's
gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''

''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your
thinking.''

not bad that one

We need a sucky ass joke flag

-Ben

Little Johnny storms home from school and stamps into the house in a huff. 'Whats the matter?' asked his dad.
'Ive got detentions for the rest of the week from my lousy math teacher'
'what for?' replied the father
'well we were sitting in maths when miss asked me what was six times seven'
'what did you say?'
'i said 42' Little Johnny replied
'so?'
'then she asked me what was seven times six'
'whats the fucking difference?'
'Thats Exactly what i said!'
Yeah, i think we do need a crappy jokes banner.

Now that one was pretty good

-Ben

LOL Diesel!

hmm, im retty sure i could find a lot better. i think its a trip to jokes.com for me. while on the subject of cool websites. heres a good one. go onto www.google.com and type in 'anarchist cookbook' then click on the one by Jolly Roger. mmm, tennis ball bombs...

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?!?!"
Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

Last two were pretty good.

-Ben

yeah i thought the first one was pretty lame too. but i put it on anyway. is there anyone here whos on msn? i just downloaded it, and my contacts list is looking kind of sparse. if anyone (for whatever weird reason) is interested, my address is BrowbBred8@hotmail.com i think.

little johhny got hit in the nuts with a foot ball

And yet it probobly took Hooyeah all day to think that one up

-Ben

actually no i just saw that peanut headed dude on the simpsons get hit by one ot was funny

how about 'little johnny got hit in the nuts with a foot' narsty bullies.

that's the best one... getting hit in the nuts is HILAROUS... unless it acutally happens to you.