Coachella Valley Street Racing

Oh trust me, I certainly have butterflies over the marriage thing, but this is something I'm sure I want, and I am very much excited about it.

Man, I never realized how much shit went into a wedding until I started delving into the bridal guides and asking around for advice from married friends. There are a SHITLOAD of details and tons of planning that goes into the whole thing. Mind you, it's worth it in the end, but it definitely is a big time-consumer. Along with that we're trying to find a bigger place in Butte that's closer to work, we have 3 vacations planned in the next month, and finances are a bit tight, but I guess it keeps me occupied. I was really quite surprised at how well my parents took the news of my engagement - I thought for sure being the baby daughter they'd be more worried and protective, but I was delighted at their acceptance of our decision to get married - my dad even invited my fiance fishing with him - not a real typical thing of my dad to do, even with my closest guy friends. My mom seems a bit stressed but it's understandable considering she's the mother of the bride and hence gets to do most of the wedding planning. I'm sure she'll do a wonderful job, though, because she wants my big day to be as special as possible.

As for guys being insecure and afraid of marriage, most men I know are terrified of it - it's natural for them to want variety, and the thought of only having sex with one person for the rest of eternity is not their idea of fun. There is such thing as sex after having children - plenty of my friends with kids still have quite active and enjoyable sexlives with their wife/husband - it's all a matter of keeping the spark alive, and setting aside time for just the two of you. Hand off the kids to the parents for a weekend, or maybe just a Friday night with the babysitter, but always make time for yourselves. Also, many women slack off after having children and use their pregnancy as an excuse for not dropping the extra pounds afterwards, and their husbands lose interest sexually and start to have a wandering eye or two for other attractive females. I'm just like my mom - and after having me, she lost all the weight in a matter of 2 weeks. Infact, I think she looked better after losing the weight than before she got pregnant with me in the first place. Hell, she just turned 48 last week and she doesn't look a day over 30 - she even has a perfect sixpack washboard stomach. I can only hope to age as gracefully as she has. Even after 2 kids and 30 years together with my dad, he still can't keep his hands off her - so you tell me, does the spark always die after marriage and kids? Not necessarily. It's up to you to make it work.

Anyway, thanks all for your kind wishes -- and to the guy with the girl who's pressing for a ring, does it seem more like she wants the engagement or she wants the ring? Maybe you should sit her down and talk to her and tell her that what she's pushing for is life-long. Many couples get caught up in the magic of a wedding and all the romance surrounding it and the honeymoon afterward, but most don't consider what happens when they come home from the honeymoon, and several women actually experience a period of depression after the honeymoon once they realize - oh my god, this is for life. So, before your girl gets entangled in wedding fantasies, ask her to consider what it means to be with someone for the REST OF LIFE... not just for the wedding and honeymoon. It might get her to sit back and cool her heels a bit, and wait until you're ready. If you're already living together I can understand her point of view - she probably figures it won't be any different than the current situation, but you need to let her know you're not prepared for it and that you're happier taking things at a slower pace. If she loves you, she'll be supportive and understanding of your position.

Anywho, I'll be sure to keep in touch and pass along updates... especially any new developments on the cavvy...

Speaking of which, one last question - my car is getting a lot of miles very quickly since things in this state are so spread out and our families live so far apart, we're talking ballpark 10,000 miles per month. My car just turned over 57,000 miles and only 3 weeks ago it turned over 50,000. So, as you can imagine, before the end of the year I'm looking at a new engine so I don't have to keep replacing shit in the current one. It's becoming a real financial drain. Does anyone have any suggestions of what I should put under the hood? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks much!

-GR